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Cool games for 10 year old girls: When I was younger, I thought it was a status symbol to be with an older man. Now that I’m the age of some of the men I dated in my teens, I feel very differently.

Of course I am painting with a broad brush. Not all intergenerational relationships are exploitative; they can be loving and mutually supportive. There are also many couplings between older women and much younger men — which have just as much of a chance of being predatory or inequitable as any other kind of relationship — but culturally, we overlook this possibility because women aren’t perceived to be threatening. Abuse in same-gender relationships can also be overlooked in the same way: Without the male-female gender dynamic, queer relationship imbalances aren’t as readily visible. But in the same way, many intergenerational queer relationships can be strong, equitable, and loving . All that said, it’s hard to deny that both data and anecdotal evidence point to a troubling pattern of older men who seek out very young and vulnerable women — one that’s reinforced by some of the most powerful and visible people in our society.

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35 thoughts on “Cool games for 10 year old girls: When I was younger, I thought it was a status symbol to be with an older man. Now that I’m the age of some of the men I dated in my teens, I feel very differently.

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